“If we are trapped by shame we can never truly be free, and if we cannot ever be free, by extension we can never have what we most want.”
For so, so long, I believed I could only feel confident in my body if it looked a certain way. I believed I could make it look perfect if I made the correct choices. I believed it was up to me to deprive myself of what I loved in order to achieve health and beauty, which in turn would result in personal freedom. I believed there was something wrong with me when I failed to deprive myself (and I always failed at this, because I cannot resist what I love).
It was a trap, promising freedom on the other side of a mythical set of “right” choices, or brutal, self-inflicted punishment should the “wrong” choices be made.
Eventually, I grew skeptical of the trap and its empty promises. I decided it was time to blaze a new path to personal freedom, based on my own standards of health and beauty. My system of achievement would only include rewards and encouragement—no punishment.
Here is the result: all sweaty, with hat hair, about to chow down on this bomb-ass wurst and drink some German chocolate cake porter, and feeling incredibly, magically free. No shame, no blame, no resentment, no fear, no anxiety. Just pleasure and satisfaction and trust. That’s beautiful. And that’s healthy.
For those of you who struggle with food, know that you are not alone. And know that food freedom is waiting for you.